Free Bird

"If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me? For I must be traveling on now, cause there's too many places I've got to see.."

Back in March I sat in a coffee shop in Cusco, Peru, typing an open apology to my friends and family.  Tears streamed down my face as I read it one last time before posting.  "I'm sorry that I'm not looking forward to seeing you," it read, "I didn't miss you.  I'm sorry that whatever it is I'm searching for isn't there with you, at least for now."  

I wrote about my desire to follow my heart, admitting that at the time I didn't know where my heart was leading.  I acknowledged that I couldn't declare a deadline for a move, knowing that I had to let it happen naturally, though I wished for it to happen sooner than later.

On my last night in Cusco, a new friend told me, "I hope you get screwed into liking someone." The foreshadowing kills me. I returned home, reluctantly falling back into my comfortable life, completely unprepared for what unraveled next.  I will not divulge details now, as that story alone could be a novel in itself.  In fact, the friends that rode that roller coaster with me often commented about how they felt I was living some Disney fairy-tale turned tragic love story.  The truth of the matter is this: life got beautifully and painfully complicated.  I met someone who turned my life upside down, who made the idea of leaving more frightening than the idea of staying.  But as with all star-crossed lovers, we had to accept that a future together would be impossible, and so after spending our last morning together crying in each other's arms, we said goodbye and parted ways.  I wish I could say that I didn't look back, but I did...a few times.  But after some time I got the urge to run again, fast and far. It took time, but I am now back at that place where I can say that I am searching again, no longer running.  And so now, while I feel closer to my friends and family than ever before, it is time I move on.  The search must continue.

SO, I semi-officially accepted a job offer in San Diego

West Coast bound in December ;) 

I'm free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change...